Sexual assault is a horrible thing and anyone living through it will tell you it's like a leach. The person committing the crime walks off seeming many times to feel no pain or sorrow, whereas the victim wears the leach attached to them for the rest of their life. The leach at times seems to be hidden. One thing can happen and suddenly the leach seems to suck the life right out of the body. Anger, frustration, hatred, and every emotion possible comes raging forth out of nowhere.
These emotions can be triggered by true stories or by stories that were even made up or on a movie. None the less, that trigger sets off something within us that takes us out of circulation sometimes for days or even weeks.
For the women who lived before us I must say, I can't imagine that grief and pain you carried and having to keep it locked away in your heart and everyone feeling you shouldn't speak of it. I can't imagine the tears you must have shed feeling you would loose your mind because of the guilt experienced due to the assault. Feeling you are the one that caused it, yet knowing you didn't ask for the person to do such a thing to you. Never able to express yourself to anyone yet secretly dying inside because of the need to be set free.
As I was lying in bed unable to sleep tonight I realized that we live in a period of time that we are free to express everything. We hold nothing back and sometimes that can be good but also can be destructive.
For those experiencing sexual assault I feel this has been good to live in a time we are free to tell the damage it does to a person.
They have a voice and are being heard, now they can heal. They are free to throw the venom out of their heart and be released of the dark shadows that haunt them. Free to move on and be somebody significant instead of being wounded and swiveling away into a old grouchy person and nobody understanding why.
I remember as a very young mom washing diapers and hanging them out on the close line to dry. There were many times those old white diapers would have stains on them that the soap, bleach and water just didn't get out. When they hung on the line for hours the sun would fade those nasty old stains right off the diaper leaving them crisp and white again. This was something that always amazed me when I watch it happen.
I have found in my life that telling my story and just hanging it out on the line has been much like the old stained up diaper. Jesus Christ, the Son shines his rays of love straight to the depth of my deep grief and pain and washes it away leaving me free once again to move forward instead of being locked away in the darkness of my pain and suffering.
He also wants to meet you at the old wash tub and as you express your grief and sorrow, he desires to shine his deep rays of love, compassion, mercy, peace and grace upon your bleeding heart and bring healing that can only be found in his presence.
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful
in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of
salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of
righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself
with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself
with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10
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