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On a video we saw recently, a couple was getting married. The minister stood before the couple to go through the usual vows. Most ministers usually know their bible but not everyone else does.
Minister: “I make this covenant with you,”
Groom: “I make this covenant with you,”
Minister: “In the name of the Father...”
Groom: “Who’s Father … hers or mine?”
That is a true story. It really happened.
Now days, when we marry someone, there is often confusion as to whom we are making our vows. We vow to our spouse. We vow before those present but we are also vowing before God, our Father who is in heaven. This is the Father in whose name we make our vow.
One problem with marriages nowadays is the unequal yoke. We read in 2 Corinthians 6.14:
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
You may say, “What is an unequal yoke?”
Before modern agricultural methods, people around the world plowed with various types of animals. The Lord had told Israel not to plow with an ox or donkey together. This was not because he cared so much about how they farmed but in order to make a more important point – namely, don’t make close associations, anything considered a bond, with those who don’t believe in the LORD.
This does not preclude all associations, for “then,” says Paul, “you would need to go out of the world.” [i] I have a good relationship with many non-Christians, and love them, but I have no bond with them.
Examples of close associations Christians should avoid with unbelievers would be partnership in a business, investments, alliance in political endeavors, but most of all, marriage.
There is no closer bond than the bond of marriage. Husband and wife are not just tied together, they are welded. Whenever God brought him his wife, Adam said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” [ii]
God’s commentary on this was, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Breaking that bond will cause serious problems. It causes severe repercussions on the individual, the couple, the family (children, grandchildren, parents, extended family) and the society.
Jesus said; “'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female,'" and then said, “'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."[iii] (Notice that Jesus did not say men were to marry men nor women marry women. And, Jesus said God made everyong male and female, not something gender fluid or something we can decide for ourselves. Such an idea is a Satanic perversion.)
Most children of divorced parents will end up in a fatherless home which creates many problems for those kids. [iv] Many will live with a step parent to which some will never adjust.
Christians, as well as the rest of society, fall victim to divorce way too often as well. Although a man or woman may say they know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, many either do not or do not live up to their profession. There is no obvious love for the Lord Jesus in their lives. Many of these love sin more than the Savior, gambling more than God, lust more than love, fun more than family, and money more than meekness.
I have not written these things to chastise anyone or bring any more guilt upon anyone beyond what they (often unnecessarily) already feel. There is forgiveness and redemption. There is hope and healing, and many who enter into a second or subsequent marriage will find true love and companionship. Many children of divorce will find strength to go on and will often find a new father figure or mother figure in their lives that will bring them great blessing. We all pray that they will.
We write this article to help people make the right choice before entering into an “unequal yoke.” It is not bi-racial marriage that God prohibited his people from entering into, rather it was the marrying of those from the nations of idolaters and wicked people.
Here are some good questions to ask about your prospective mate before you marry:
Does he/she claim to know Jesus Christ?
Does he/she love to pray and read God’s word?
Does he/she love to hang out with God’s people (the church)?
Does he treat his Momma right?
(If he doesn’t, he probably won’t treat you right either!)
Does he/she live a life consistent with what they say they believe?
Do you, yourself, live according to all the above?
Don’t think you are going to change someone. If anything, they are putting their best foot forward right now. I have seen many make abundant promises only to revert back to old ways after gaining someone’s confidence. We know anyone can be changed by God, but don’t test him! He has placed his principles in his word for us to live by, not for us to presume upon his mercy.
Those were the don’ts. Here’s the do’s:
Do pray for God to direct you to that one person.
Do search the scriptures for understanding.
Do seek godly counsel and listen to those who love you and don’t mind speaking the truth.
Do give yourself time to get to know this person you feel you love. Don’t commit too soon.
Do let the peace of God be your guide.
Do be willing to go through life unmarried rather than to marry an unbeliever.
Do trust God when he gives you the green light.
Do everything you can to hold your marriage together with the Spiritual soul mate that God has given you – through thick and thin.
[i] 1 Corinthians 5.10
[ii] Genesis 2.23
[iii] Matthew 19.3-6
[iv] If you have the guts to read about the effect on kids without Dads, read:
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