Photo provided by Jana Long
Taken by Mike Mezuel II
Finding the heart of God during our deepest darkest
storms is not always easy to do but when
we do, the rewards are great.
I found in the midst of those deepest
darkest storms to run to my Father
for my needs.
darkest storms to run to my Father
for my needs.
I could have run to my earthly father for my
needs, but instead I ran to my Heavenly Father.
needs, but instead I ran to my Heavenly Father.
If I had chosen to run elsewhere, that healing would
have only been momentary relief of the
pain in my heart. My father could have given me
money to help along the way, he could have given
me a hug and made me temporarily feel better. He
could have gone and annihilated the person who
brought my pain, but it takes the hand
money to help along the way, he could have given
me a hug and made me temporarily feel better. He
could have gone and annihilated the person who
brought my pain, but it takes the hand
of the Almighty Father to heal the wounds of
the brokenness and devastation that I had experienced.
Only the hand of the Almighty Father could give
me the assurance and the peace I needed.
I found family and friends can't always
be there, yet the Heavenly Father was there every
single time I cried out to him, never abandoning me,
never rejecting me, He never once left me without
hope when I turned to him
One of the things that I probably should have
written about in my book, "Digging A Well," but
at that time my heart was not ready to share this
part of my life and therefore I touched
on the subject very briefly, but didn't go into detail.
One of the things we see that happens in a great
storm or an earthquake is many times the
earth or the water flow is forced to
take a new path. In 1812 the Mississippi
river actually flowed backwards for
a few hours after the fault line shifted. And a
few of you can totally relate to this happening
in your life. I think my earthquake/storm
caused so much trauma that everything turned
around backwards in my life for a period of time.
Many of you were on the right path and the
moment the earthquake/storm hit, your
path was redirected and you had
to make a decision. At this very point
your choice was to let your life damn up, let it
flow with bitterness or let it flow with better-ness.
I can't tell you how many times I have watch
these storms hit the lives of families and
I have watched as some of the family members
just stop living. Yes, they still breath in air but
they shut themselves off from everyone and
never move forward and they never move backwards.
You will see them twenty years later and they
are still the same, just breathing in air.
The very same family will have a person
in it that starts spewing our bitterness, drinking
or doing drugs or just start getting into
trouble. Then there are the few and far between
who turn their bitterness around and determine
to help others survive the storms of their life. I can
tell you from experience that not one these paths
are the easy path. You might be saying "But I have
experienced pain and I have the right to take this path."
Yes, this is true, you have the right but if each
of these path bring hardship, why not take the path
that will be hard but will help others to
stand. Why be selfish and lay in your sorrow
and hurt others because of your pain.
Each one of the paths have pain, but
I can tell you that the person who will choose to
help others because they have been through the
storm is by far better off emotionally, physically and
blessed by the fruits they will see. There is nothing
more rewarding than to share your testimony and
share that you feel some one there is in the midst
of one of these storms and then to get to connect
with then, watch them come out of the storm, and
watch them set their feet on solid ground and start
"Digging A Well" so others will also be able to be
set free, some where else down the line. I know
I have been helped by speakers who have taken
their pain and used it for my gain.
There is nothing more devastating to live through
the horrors of the person who chose to become bitter
and to let the river of bitterness flow out of their being.
Bitter people hurt themselves, bitter people hurt people
Bitter people corrupt the waters in other peoples lives.
For you see the person who victimized me, shared with
me the night he had decided to bring me harm and
bury me under the rock, that he didn't want
to be who he was, I truly agree that he doesn't want to be
who he is, but I do believe that he allowed the bitterness
he had experienced in his life to flow out
upon my life and bring destruction,
Many years prior he had walked into the room
soon after his father had taken a shot gun and
killed himself. He had to live with the pain
every single day of his life and the pain
became so great that he thought somehow I could
ease that pain and make it better. There is not a human
alive that can give someone else that sort of relief from their
pain. Earthquakes of that magnitude take total relying
on God Almighty every day and every moment
from that time and going forth. It takes going and talking with
professionals and learning how to direct the flow
of the flood of anger and defeat that has overtaken them.
It takes walking and walking slowly learning ever so
intently how to live in the peace of God and not
allowing defeat and anger to take control.
You will notice I focus on walking. I truly
believe we live in the day and age that we
have forgotten that part of life. Walking, ever
so slowly and allowing our lives to be changed
by the walk that we have with our God. This
is something I forget from time to time and
the Lord has to remind me that it is my
walk that keeps me flowing in the right direction.
My earthquake changed the flow of my well. In
my earlier years I was so involved in the children's
ministry of the churches I attended. I kept the nursery,
taught the children, taught Summer Bible Clubs and
Vacation Bible School and assisted in every area
of the children's ministry. As my earthquake hit I found
this is an area that seems to be shut off due to some of
trauma I had experienced, yet the Lord started some
rivers flowing in new area's of my life. True to what
the Texas Ranger told me, I found myself speaking
to women about pains and suffering, I found myself
playing the piano and writing songs and I found myself
spending more time writing blogs and posting
scriptures that might help someone through their pain.
Not ever sharing my deepest pain like I am now, but
sitting up a lighthouse so that others may
see a ray of hope as they passed by.
I could have actually became angry that the Lord had
changed the flow of my well but I must trust that in
His power and sovereignty that he understands and
knows what is best for me and if this is what he deems
best, then it would be far wiser for me to follow this
new path that He has lined out for me instead
of picking up the shovel and shaking it towards
heaven and declaring that the path I was on was the
one I loved and nothing under the sun is going
to change it. For you see, by the time I dug my '
path back over to where it was previously, I would
be so worn out that I wouldn't be able to accomplish
either of the two paths. So for now, I have chosen to
rest in what the Lord has allowed to flow in and
through my life. After all I am just the canal
that allows the water to flow. He is the river and
as He flows and decides to move and travel in
whatever direction He wants to.
It is up to me to rest, move and expand, in what
He has laid out before me and will continue
to lay out for my life and to rest in the
peace and beauty of that stream I now call
my river of life. The place of refuge that
I can breath in His beauty and the calmness
of His greatness.
PSALMS 46 1-6
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear,
though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains
be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be
troubled, though the mountains shake with the
swelling thereof. Selah. There is a river, the streams
whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place
of the tabernacles of the most High. God is in the midst of her;
she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
hope when I turned to him
One of the things that I probably should have
written about in my book, "Digging A Well," but
at that time my heart was not ready to share this
part of my life and therefore I touched
on the subject very briefly, but didn't go into detail.
One of the things we see that happens in a great
storm or an earthquake is many times the
earth or the water flow is forced to
take a new path. In 1812 the Mississippi
river actually flowed backwards for
a few hours after the fault line shifted. And a
few of you can totally relate to this happening
in your life. I think my earthquake/storm
caused so much trauma that everything turned
around backwards in my life for a period of time.
Many of you were on the right path and the
moment the earthquake/storm hit, your
path was redirected and you had
to make a decision. At this very point
your choice was to let your life damn up, let it
flow with bitterness or let it flow with better-ness.
I can't tell you how many times I have watch
these storms hit the lives of families and
I have watched as some of the family members
just stop living. Yes, they still breath in air but
they shut themselves off from everyone and
never move forward and they never move backwards.
You will see them twenty years later and they
are still the same, just breathing in air.
The very same family will have a person
in it that starts spewing our bitterness, drinking
or doing drugs or just start getting into
trouble. Then there are the few and far between
who turn their bitterness around and determine
to help others survive the storms of their life. I can
tell you from experience that not one these paths
are the easy path. You might be saying "But I have
experienced pain and I have the right to take this path."
Yes, this is true, you have the right but if each
of these path bring hardship, why not take the path
that will be hard but will help others to
stand. Why be selfish and lay in your sorrow
and hurt others because of your pain.
Each one of the paths have pain, but
I can tell you that the person who will choose to
help others because they have been through the
storm is by far better off emotionally, physically and
blessed by the fruits they will see. There is nothing
more rewarding than to share your testimony and
share that you feel some one there is in the midst
of one of these storms and then to get to connect
with then, watch them come out of the storm, and
watch them set their feet on solid ground and start
"Digging A Well" so others will also be able to be
set free, some where else down the line. I know
I have been helped by speakers who have taken
their pain and used it for my gain.
There is nothing more devastating to live through
the horrors of the person who chose to become bitter
and to let the river of bitterness flow out of their being.
Bitter people hurt themselves, bitter people hurt people
Bitter people corrupt the waters in other peoples lives.
For you see the person who victimized me, shared with
me the night he had decided to bring me harm and
bury me under the rock, that he didn't want
to be who he was, I truly agree that he doesn't want to be
who he is, but I do believe that he allowed the bitterness
he had experienced in his life to flow out
upon my life and bring destruction,
Many years prior he had walked into the room
soon after his father had taken a shot gun and
killed himself. He had to live with the pain
every single day of his life and the pain
became so great that he thought somehow I could
ease that pain and make it better. There is not a human
alive that can give someone else that sort of relief from their
pain. Earthquakes of that magnitude take total relying
on God Almighty every day and every moment
from that time and going forth. It takes going and talking with
professionals and learning how to direct the flow
of the flood of anger and defeat that has overtaken them.
It takes walking and walking slowly learning ever so
intently how to live in the peace of God and not
allowing defeat and anger to take control.
You will notice I focus on walking. I truly
believe we live in the day and age that we
have forgotten that part of life. Walking, ever
so slowly and allowing our lives to be changed
by the walk that we have with our God. This
is something I forget from time to time and
the Lord has to remind me that it is my
walk that keeps me flowing in the right direction.
My earthquake changed the flow of my well. In
my earlier years I was so involved in the children's
ministry of the churches I attended. I kept the nursery,
taught the children, taught Summer Bible Clubs and
Vacation Bible School and assisted in every area
of the children's ministry. As my earthquake hit I found
this is an area that seems to be shut off due to some of
trauma I had experienced, yet the Lord started some
rivers flowing in new area's of my life. True to what
the Texas Ranger told me, I found myself speaking
to women about pains and suffering, I found myself
playing the piano and writing songs and I found myself
spending more time writing blogs and posting
scriptures that might help someone through their pain.
Not ever sharing my deepest pain like I am now, but
sitting up a lighthouse so that others may
see a ray of hope as they passed by.
I could have actually became angry that the Lord had
changed the flow of my well but I must trust that in
His power and sovereignty that he understands and
knows what is best for me and if this is what he deems
best, then it would be far wiser for me to follow this
new path that He has lined out for me instead
of picking up the shovel and shaking it towards
heaven and declaring that the path I was on was the
one I loved and nothing under the sun is going
to change it. For you see, by the time I dug my '
path back over to where it was previously, I would
be so worn out that I wouldn't be able to accomplish
either of the two paths. So for now, I have chosen to
rest in what the Lord has allowed to flow in and
through my life. After all I am just the canal
that allows the water to flow. He is the river and
as He flows and decides to move and travel in
whatever direction He wants to.
It is up to me to rest, move and expand, in what
He has laid out before me and will continue
to lay out for my life and to rest in the
peace and beauty of that stream I now call
my river of life. The place of refuge that
I can breath in His beauty and the calmness
of His greatness.
PSALMS 46 1-6
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear,
though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains
be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be
troubled, though the mountains shake with the
swelling thereof. Selah. There is a river, the streams
whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place
of the tabernacles of the most High. God is in the midst of her;
she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.
No comments:
Post a Comment