Photo provided by Jana Long
Taken by Mike Mezuel II
The days following my escape, the greatest storm
in my life, were far from easy. Although I learned
some very valuable lessons during those days.
I share these stages with you
only so you can see that the choices that we make
will define who we are in the future, as you
can plainly see that the Lord has blessed
my musical talents for his glory. Music
is something I always struggled with as
I was told in junior high by our choir director
that I just didn't have what it took, unlike
my sisters who were musically inclined.
Up to this time I dressed up and my hair had to be
to perfection, my nails painted as I would
never leave the house without my make-up and
jewelry. I spent much time making sure the outer
appearance was just right. I don't feel this was wrong
but I do feel that when we are given the time to choose
wealth over the goodness and riches of God, than making that
right decision is vital and will change your life forever.
As this person was scheduled to check on me every
forty-five minutes to an hour that day. I knew I had little
time and I must act smart and I must act fast.
Living directly across from the school my children
attended. I packed all their clothing into the trunk of my
car and into the back seat. I called the school and told
them there was a family situation and I needed my two
children to leave the school immediately and come home.
As they were coming to the house I realized I had not packed
one single item for myself. I ran into the house and
looked at my jewelry, my make-up and all of my clothes, my
keyboard and my bible. I had to make a choice. I would choose
having my favorite outfits and make-up and jewelry
or I could take my keyboard and bible. Instantly I
realized that I could live without the clothing and
jewelry but I wasn't sure I could live without my keyboard
and I knew I could never live without the Word of God.
Instantly I grabbed those two items, there was barley room for
them to fit and without one ounce of space left to fit another item
I placed my bible into the trunk. This person had told me if I didn't
answer my phone each time he called he would be on the hunt
for me and that I could never escape him no matter what
direction I ran. He had spun a great web around my life
and there were people even saying that I had lost my mind
and that I could be like the woman that killed her children
by drowning them in the lake. I was seriously locked into
a situation I couldn't escape as this person also had family
on the police force and he assured me that I had no
hope of getting away. As I drove away from the town,
it was only fifteen minutes and my phone began to ring.
There were messages left reminding me that he was out
looking for me and that I must call him immediately.
I knew I had to keep running in order to escape. I had to
take the chance that he was wrong and that I could
find safety out of his grip.
As I arrived at my sisters house the calls kept coming but
I could not explain to anyone what all had taken place in
my life. I couldn't let anyone know that I had gotten mixed up
in a bad situation and assaulted repeatedly. I would just
try to get my life back together and move forward.
Forward, what was that? I could not process anything in order
to move forward. I was locked into a dungeon. even though
I was actually free. I was in a shell and I didn't want anyone
to crack the shell open lest the air would cause me
to dry up and die.
Over the next few weeks my sister was
persistent enough to get the story out of me and then took
me to the local authorities and got me connected with a group
that helped me in recovery counseling. All the time petrified that
contacting the local authorities would only unlock the
door for his family members helping him locate me. We did
find that someone had so cleaned his records that he
never even showed receiving a speeding ticket or any
violation on his record which only caused deeper fear
to set in that I would never really be freed from the horrors
of this man and that what he had told me were indeed true.
As I lived my life over the next few months I
watched the Hand of God move and cloth me with his
love and compassion and yes with actual clothing also.
As I attended church wearing my daughters clothes, which nobody
knew, a lady walked up to me and said, "You know my daughter is
your size and she has some of the cutest clothes she is getting ride of,
I was wondering if it would hurt your feeling if I gave them to you."
Seriously, by this time I was so numb I didn't know what
my feelings were. True to her word, they were some of the most
beautiful items I had ever owned.
It was months later that I had a job and had been to
the counselor weekly and learned to talk without curling
up into a ball, that the church I attended, ask if I would consider
playing the piano for them. I could play the old hymns and my
style was alright but needed a lot of help. I had six hundred dollars
in my bank account by this time as I had just gotten paid and
as I walked into the counselors office she asked,
"Sherry, what is your greatest need for today" She had never
asked this question before. I thought a moment and
told her she would possibly think I was crazy but
my greatest need was to not own a small keyboard
but to own a piano so I could practice it and become a
better pianist for my church.
Amazing how the Lord knows what we need before we ask.
Amazing how he decides to bless us during our greatest mistakes
in life. My counselor looked at me and said, "I am truly shocked
by your request and I must say that the Lord must be with you
because the lady that just walked out of my office as you walked in,
has to sell her piano today. The piano is worth $3,000.00 but she
has to be out of her home and told me she was going to sell if for
$600.00 if she could find someone who could pick it up today.
You see there were so many times I could have gotten drunk
to drown my sorrows out but I feel that in doing so I would
have missed out on how much my Heavenly Father
loves me and cares for me.
Making the decision of leaving my clothing, jewelry and
make-up behind has never been missed once and my heart has
been filled with a constant melodic sound of God's redeeming grace,
this is a sound and a joy that temporal things can't ever supply.
As I write this I realize just how far the Lord has brought me
since that time and how the brokenness, bitterness and anger has been
replaced with His love, His patience and His peace that
passeth all understanding.
I pray that in the future I will always make these kind of
decisions but honestly there have been times since then
that I made the selfish choice instead. Life gets so
complicated and we get so filled with "us" and
"our belongings" that we look right past the Face of God
and miss all the blessings that He is begging to
pour out on us. May hearts desire is to seek him more
and more daily and to never live one day without Him in
my life, guiding and directing my path.
As for the crazy woman people believed me to be,
you were correct. I was nearly out of my mind trying to cope
with being assaulted regularly and not being able to find a way
out of my situation and every choice I made lead me
deeper into despair.
These thirteen years of living a life protected by the
Heavenly Father and basking in His love and healing grace,
have been far better than living thirteen years being abused and
pushed around, rejected and lonely.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your
heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
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