Photo provided by Jana Long
Taken by Mike Mezuel II
As time passed and my body, soul and mind
began to find healing, I found myself listening
to a sermon at Calvary Baptist Church in Andrews
where my I visited often with my sister.
As Pastor Bill Melton began to preach I
listened and took notes. I can't tell you the topic
that he spoke on or anything else about
the sermon but as he spoke these words
resounded in my heart to the point that
I turned from taking notes to writing
these words in the front of my bible,
"Digging a Well".
I didn't have a clue why I wrote those
words there but for some reason I knew
those words were important. There were
many days I as I prayed I would question
why those words were important. I even
expressed to the Lord that they didn't make
since because as I was so traumatized by my
situation there were many times I could
actually smell in my senses the mucky smell of an
old well. that stale water had stood in. The smell
in my mind was so vivid that it would almost make
me sick at times. There were many times I expressed
to the Lord when I would see those words in the front
of my bible that I was inside of the well, how am I
supposed to dig a well when I am locked inside of a old
abandoned well.
I remember the first day I laughed after this event
took place in my life. It wasn't the day after, it wasn't
the week after, and it was not the month after. It took
a very long time before I would laugh out loud,
for you see my attacker had told me it was my
laugh that caused him to choose me out from among
others and to lock me down into an unescapable situation.
When I laughed out loud I instantly became fearful.
I could fell myself literally pocking my head from
outside this well I was in and seeing a ray of light and
instantly the ray of light caused deep fear to run
through my body. I could see the light but I chose
to run and hide back inside the wet moldy smell of my
well because even though it was a dark horrible smell,
I found safety there.
After this event I began to pull away and the Lord
prodded my heart to come out, to laugh, and to
breath in the fresh air. I would try each day to
find something to laugh about but instantly
I would run and hide back inside the well so
I could feel secure. I know this sounds very
foreign to many of you but to the person
experiencing the things that I have explained
I went through, your heart is connecting and
understanding and the sound is vibrating in our
soul. I am praying this will give you hope
to step outside of your well or your shell that
you have so covered yourself in.
you have so covered yourself in.
Months past as daily I came out of my shell for
moments and would run back inside and hide.
The day came and I so remember that day.
I can't tell you the event or what was happening
but I do remember the time I laughed, I really
laughed and I didn't run back inside the deep well.
I decided today I will stay outside. I would glance back
at my well and I would tell myself to stay outside
a little longer. I repeatedly glanced back thinking
of retrieving into my well and decide to not return just yet.
I stayed outside the entire day and later that evening
decided it was time to visit the place I felt most secure,
my dark musky well. The next day I determined in my
heart that I would once again experience the light and
as I walked out into the light I decided I would keep moving
out of the well for longer periods of time so that I could slowly
adjust to the light, until the day came that I decided I loved
the light more than I loved the deep musky smell of the
old well I had found so much security inside of. I took a deep
breath that day and told my self that it was the last
time I would ever visit the well and that from this point on,
I was determined to stay in the light.
This was a hard decision for me to make. There were
days I would look back and long to visit the well.
I would even cry and wish I had not made the
commitment to stay out in the light but I knew if I
was to ever move forward, I could never return to
my well. Therefore, no matter the pain,
I was determined to stay in the light.
As the topic in my bible made no since to me I
questioned it often and it was not until I made the trip
to the mountains where I started writing my
first book called, Digging A Well," that I understood
why the Lord had me write those few words in the
front of my bible. The Lord has used those words in my
heart and life repeatedly as I can now see that I
experienced all the stages of a well down to
an old abandoned one. I can tell you from experience
it is so much more blessed to "Dig A Well" than to live inside
the old abandoned well in fear and despair.
John 8:36
If the Son therefore shall make you free,
ye shall be free indeed.
No comments:
Post a Comment