KEEPING OUR BALANCE

Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Psalms 23:4

Have you ever really thought about

what this verse means?  As I was praying 

for our nation yesterday, I began to 

question the Lord.  My questioning sounded 

like this.  " God I just don't understand 

why our nation is falling apart.  There are

still so many believers who have their trust

in you.  I know you said the last days 

there would be a great turning away.  

I guess I don't understand because there 

are still so many believers."

As I pondered on this thought I felt

the Lord lay Psalms 23 verse 4 on 

my heart.  All day I thought about it

and kept asking the Lord what he means 

by laying this verse on my heart while 

I was praying for my nation.

I feel this was his answer.  "Yes there
are believers who are serving me.
There are American people and even
American believers that have insisted I be
 the God with only the staff,
only a God of love."

They have insisted that I am not the
God of a rod and staff.  The have
demanded I not be the God that carried
a rod, meaning to be a God who
brought judgement.  What  they don't
didn't realize is when they forced
the rod from being used for judgment,
they also lost the protection of the
Mighty Shepherd."

This rod is the rod that the
great shepherd would have used to
beat the head of the serpant, to
attack the bears and wolves.  It would have
been the rod that was used to lift
the wool and find  pestilence and disease
among my sheep and lambs.

This rod was the rod that I
gave Moses to lead my children
through the wilderness and although
the rod meant discipline, it also
was the very item that brought safety
and security.  Living in a nation that has
rejected that rod is an extremely fearful
place to be living, as we are in great need
of our Almighty Shepherds rod.

Therefore I believe as Christians we
need to stand and pray that God will break
us free from our selfishness and bring the
rod back to our nation.  This could mean
we be disciplined for our stubborn hearts
but it would also mean the rod of
protection would be lifted above us.

 Part of walking through the valley with
the great shepherd is the rod and
the staff.  You find them both listed for us,
as a balance.  It's not our place to
tell the Lord to put one down,  he wants
us to have the balance in our lives that
will carry us through valley of
shadow of death or the dark days
we may be facing as a nation.
The staff to draw us into his arms of
love and the rod for discipline and to
smite the enemy and rid us of
all our diseases.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths
of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before
me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall
follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.
 Psalms‬ ‭23‬:‭1-6‬ KJV

STANDING WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE

There are times in life that our trials become so great

that it seems impossible to stand.  We are faced with

things daily that drag us down physically, emotionally 

and spiritually.  These trials are never welcome and yet 

they are the very thing that can bring strength 

to our lives and give us the needed knowledge 

to help others face the trials in their lives.
Fanny Crosby is a great example of this. 

Fanny was born blind and had to 

overcome many difficulties in her life; 

yet she came out shinning far above
other people born during the nineteenth century.
She began to see things that no other person
could see, because of her great love and
the depth of her devotion to her God.  Fanny
Crosby left us with thousands of songs she wrote.  

Songs like, “Blessed Assurance”, “He Hideth
My Soul”, “All the Way my Savior Leads Me”,
and many more of the songs we hold dear to
our hearts. The trials she faced has given me
a greater depth and helped me survive
some of my greatest trials in life.

Horatio Spafford wrote the song, “It is Well 

with my Soul”.  This song was written after his 

four daughters were killed by a ship that wretch
out at sea.  He also lost a son a few years
later to scarlet fever and yet this song burst forth
from his soul.

Do you think that Horatio
lived problem free from that time on?  

If so, you are mistaken.  He lived with many deep 

pains and sorrows but he clung to the fact that his 

salvation was true and everlasting.   This very
song has helped so many people make it one
more day, face on more trial, stand up tall
and face tomorrow.

I believe with all my heart that Satan would
have stopped this song from going forth and
helping others.  I say this because one of the
speakers that told the story of Haratio's
life of pain and suffering and the song
that burst forth from his soul, also began
to experience great trials and tribulations
in his own life, but he had already grabbed
onto the roots of Horatio, the Word of God
and other believers who helped him stand
through his times of trouble that he faced.

This brings up the question of, “What are you doing 

With your pain?”  We all have pain and suffering
and we all must decide how we are going to
handle it.  What if you are one of those people
who have within you the power of God
to change the world around you because
of the depth of your pain and suffering and
instead you choose to let it overtake you
and it causes you to give up?

What if Fanny Crosby and 

Horatio Spafford would have chosen to do
exactly what we do each day and not give
that pain and sorrow to the Lord Jesus
Christ and hold to his promises?

There is a tree that stands taller than all other 

trees in the forrest and just as Fanny Crosby
and Horatio Spafford, this tree has many traits
that we should look at and use the roots it has
to help us to stand in the days ahead when our
faith is tested with fire, when our families
turn to other Gods, when the trials and
storms of everyday living become more than
we can handle by ourselves.

The sequoia tree the largest known living
organism on the face of the earth.  It doesn’t
have the power to stand on its own.
The only way the sequoia tree is able to stand
is with the support of all the other trees surrounding it. 

One of the largest known

Sequoias stands on the side of the mountain,
protruding over the side of the mountain
instead of standing upward towards the sky.
There is no possible way for the
sequoias to stand straight much less to be
standing protruding out the side of the mountain;
yet there it stands.  If the rangers in the park
decided at any moment to remove all the trees
that surrounded this great Sequoia, the tree
would instantly fall to the earth.  

You see, the roots to this giant sequoia is 

very shallow and long.  They are so long, they 

intertwine with all the other sequoias around it.  

Thus giving it the stability to stand.

The sequoia is different from most other trees
because when the forest fires move through the
terrain where they stand, it actually causes
them to thrive instead of die.

The places that sequias haven't been exposed

to raging forest fires, there tends to be a dying
away of the trees.  The seedlings from the great
sequoias that has survived the heat of a forrest
fire are more vibrant than the seedlings of
other sequoias.  The forest fires do not
destroy these trees but it causes them to produce
better.  Many of these trees have evidence the fire
occurred yet the tree heals completely and produces
new bark that covers over the damaged bark.

The sequoia lives an extremely long time but they do 

eventually die and when they do the most amazing
things takes place.  After the death of the tree,
the tannin acts as a nature preservative.  It slows
the decay process down.  When this takes place the tree
slowly releases nutrients for up to a thousand years.

One of the most amazing things about the sequoia 

is that when it falls to the earth a river of water 

comes gushing forth out of the tree.

With this being said I would like for us to look at 

Ephesians 6: 11-18.  As we read this scripture 

think of each thing the scripture says here as a root 

and I believe it will open your eyes in a new way 

as you see just what it means to STAND.

We live in the day where compared to other

the generations who have gone before us, 

our roots are shallow.  We have traded being

grounded in the Word of God with pleasure.  

We have chased the American dream and now 

We are trying to figure out how we are going to 

Stand in the days of evil which we see 

rapidly approaching. 

Finally, my brethren,
be strong in the Lord, 

and in the power of his might. 
Put on the whole armour of God, 
that ye may be able to 

STAND 

against the wiles of the devil.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, 

but against principalities, against powers, 

against the rulers of the darkness of this world, 

against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Root 1

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, 

that ye may be able to withstand in the 

evil day, and having done all, to 

STAND.

Root 2

STAND 

therefore, having your loins 

girt about with truth.

Root 3

And having on the breastplate 

of righteousness;

Root 4

And your feet shod with the 

preparation of the gospel of peace.

Root 5

Above all, taking the shield of faith, 

wherewith ye shall be able to quench 

all the fiery darts of the wicked.

Root 6

And take the helmet of salvation, 

and the sword of the Spirit, 

which is the word of God:

Root 7

Praying always with all prayer and 

supplication in the Spirit, (for the saints)

THOUSANDS OF ROOTS

And watching thereunto with all 

perseverance and supplication
for all saints.

If you notice closely that many times we hear 

it taught to do verses 11-17 but many people leave 

out the next verse.  I believe in the days ahead that 

in order for Christians to stand, we need
to be as the sequoia tree and take our roots 

and interlock them so tight that if one of the trees
start to fall, the other trees will be so interlocked
that it will be able to STAND, when it seems
impossible to do so.

When the time comes that one of the great saints
pass from this life, may we see a river begin to 

flow from their life that will bring forth 

abundant life to other generations.

May the nutrients that our lives leave behind, 

be one that vibrates the earth for generations
to come.  May they quote our words, sing our
songs and live their lives so that others will
join in and though the fire of destruction rages
all around; they just keep on standing.  When it seems
impossible to stand there will be people pass
by in amazement at their strength and
beauty and great ability 

to STAND.

May we learn a lesson from one of God’s

great designs: The Great Sequoia Tree.

Ephesisans 6:13 

Wherefore take unto you the

whole armour of God, that ye may be able 

to withstand in the evil day, and having 

done all,

to STAND.

PART VIII FINDING THE HEART OF GOD IN LIFE'S GREATEST STORM

Photo provided by Jana Long

Taken by Mike Mezuel II

 

Does it surprise you that Psalms 27

was my life chapter.  Well, it does me.

Only a few years prior to my great storm,

I was asked to speak at Calvary Baptist

Church in Andrews Texas.  I had never

spoken in front of Adults before and I turned

down the invitation.  As the ladies

continued to pray they seemed to believe I

was supposed to go and speak. 

My sister asked me one day, "If you

were to speak, what topic would you speak

on."  I instantly knew it would be Psalms 27

and told her and then I said, "But God isn't

calling me to speak at the meeting.  As they

prayed and God worked, things started

falling into place perfectly and I knew I was

supposed to go and speak.

 

I think the Lord wanted me to share this
chapter with others so I would nail it down
deep. ever so deep into my heart. 

It was only a few years later that this

chapter began to unfold and truly contain

every verse my life would live. 

 

There have been many question me about

why I am not putting myself out there and

travel and speak on a regular basis. 

I must say that I haven't felt this is what

the Lord has called me to do.  At least this

far he hasn't put this on my heart.  What

he has put on my heart is that I am to be

in His pavilion.  This verse didn't say he

wants me to be in his sanctuary but it says

in His pavilion.  I feel what the Lord is saying

in this verse is I want you in my secret hiding

place.  I want to put my arms of protection

around you and when others see your life

they will see the covering.  That covering is

the Lord Jesus Christ and this is my desire, that

when others see me they will look right past

who I am and the details of how I fashion my

life, but they will see how Christ has fashioned his

pavilion around me and so protected me that

others will see and know that he can love the

most unlovely and he has taken the time to

hide me in His pavilion,  His secret hiding place.

Did you notice the last part of verse 5?
It says,"he shall set me up upon a rock."
I don't think anyone else would understand
this chapter the way I do.  Is it a coincidence
this very verse the Lord pressed upon my
heart to claim as my life verse and then
my offender tell me he was going to bury
my body underneath this great rock. 
I am not sure what the Lord totally means
by,"He will set me up upon a rock," but I must
say I do believe his hand of protection
was all over my life. I also noticed this
verse didn't say, "He will set me upon a
rock."  Why would it say very
specifically that "He will set me UP
upon a rock. 

I must say that those last words ring
ever so true and had you lived in my
shoes you would feel the same as I did,
as everyday was such a struggle to walk,
to breath and to carry on with life.
The one thing that kept me going and
still sustains me today is the Lord
being the strength of my heart.

Psalms 27:13-14
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see
the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage,
and he shall strengthen thine heart:
wait, I say, on the LORD.

 

 

 

 

PART VII FINDING THE HEART OF GOD IN LIFE'S GREATEST STORMS

Photo provided by Jana Long

Taken by Mike Mezuel II

With you being the canvas and Christ
being the great artist, are you willing to
allow him to paint on the canvas the
strokes he knows it takes to produce
a masterpiece?

It is so difficult for me not to grab
the brush out of his hand and say,
"What do you think you are doing? 
You are ruining my canvas!  "You
should be adding vibrant colors here,
instead of the deep dark shading,
or you should have used my canvas
to paint a beautiful mountain top
with snowcaps!"

If you would have painted it with beautiful
mountain peaks, everyone who
viewed my life would look and be awe
struck at the beauty and majesty of the
perfection you painted.  A painting
that everyone would want to copy and
have their lives look like. 

I wanted to be the one who did it all right
so that others would be drawn into the
presence of the Holy Spirit to live
and serve the Lord with abundant
happiness, joy and total contentment." 


"Oh but no! You decided to create on this
canvas of mine, dark trenches and valleys. 
You decided to make the walk dangerous
and treacherous.  You made it appear that
serving you will be a rough rugged journey."

Gently the Lord says, "You are the one that
allowed me to hold the brush of your life."  Can
you not trust me until the last stroke and
see what the masterpiece will look like?"  Can
you just allow me to finish my work in and
through you and then you can decide if
the canvas is destroyed or if it will become
a wonderful masterpiece that will not only
draw the strong but it could also be
a masterpiece that when the broken and
wounded, heavy hearted and rejected see it
that they might want to join you at the stream
that flows so abundantly through the
center of the canvas. 

Can you continue to claim that life
scripture and allow me to focus
on what I feel will be a great masterpiece at
which time I will unveil it, and let you decide?

I must say, trusting God that he knows best
isn't always easy but I have seen a few
masterpieces that he has painted and
he has proven to be the greatest artist of
all times and I pray I will wake up daily and
say, "Lord, into your hands I place this brush
and into your heart I place my trust.  Make me,
shape me, and design me how you see will
best draw others to you and help me to wait!"

Only two years before I experienced my
great storm I claimed this as my life verse. 
I had already lived much of this verse when
my mother took her own life and only those
closest to our family has known what a
an experience that has been for my
myself, my brothers and sisters 
and for my father to go
through the trials and struggles
and the dark storms that brought forth.

Yet the storms didn't stop coming they
only subsided for a period of time.  I must
say if I had not claimed this as my life verse,
I wouldn't be here today. 

So I wait to see what the Lord's final
unveiling for my life will be! 

Will he leave the dark trenches at the foot
of the mountains or will he fill them
with flowers growing abundantly at the 
crevice of the majestic peaks?

Will he leave the dark clouds or will
he move them into the distance and
add a rainbow shining through
 them radiating his glory?

Will he fill the canvas with teardrops or
will he fill the canvas with people drawn
to Christ because of the teardrops? 

Will he show me ever walking by
his side or will he show me
limping and wounded and turning
away from his face? 

What will the final canvas reveal?
Only the artist knows!


PSALMS 27

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
the LORD is the strength of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked,
even mine enemies and my foes,
came upon me to eat up my flesh,
they stumbled and fell. Though an host
should encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear:
though war should rise against me,
in this will I be confident.
One thing have I desired of the LORD,
that will I seek after;
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the LORD,
and to enquire in his temple.
For in the time of trouble
he shall hide me in his pavilion:
in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me;
he shall set me up upon a rock.
And now shall mine head be lifted
up above mine enemies round about me:
therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy;
I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.
Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice:
have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
When thou saidst, Seek ye my face;
my heart said unto thee,
Thy face, LORD, will I seek.
Hide not thy face far from me;
put not thy servant away in anger:
thou hast been my help;
leave me not, neither forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
When my father and my mother forsake me,
then the LORD will take me up.
Teach me thy way,
O LORD, and lead me in a plain path,
because of mine enemies.
Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies:
for false witnesses are risen up against me,
and such as breathe out cruelty.
I had fainted, unless I had believed to see
the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage,
and he shall strengthen thine heart:
wait, I say, on the LORD.
 

PART VI FINDING THE HEART OF GOD IN LIFE'S GREATEST STORMS

Photo provided by Jana Long

Taken by Mike Mezuel II

Storms were made to pass.  They were never made
to stay, so if you allow your storm to keep
tormenting you and destroying your life than it
is you who holds it there, not God. 

I have never in history
seen a time that an earthquake shook the foundation
and just kept shaking until eternity past.  I've never seen
a tornado that spun in the same location until
the end of time.  No, storms come and storms go. 
It is up to us to let it pass on by, pick up the debris
and rebuild.

If you choose to hold the tornado
by the tail and allow it to keep sucking the life out
of you then you would be considered foolish.
But isn't that what we tend to do?  Not only do we
get our grip on the tornado and let it keep destroying
our lives but we turn the tail on our family members,
our friends and co-workers so that it 
can suck the life out of them also.
 If we could see with our eyes the tornado spinning
we might would let it go, but you see,
we are blinded by it, all the while we let it keep bringing
destruction, sorrow and deeper pain into
everyone's lives around us. 

There comes a time that we must let the storm pass
on by.  We must look at the debris and focus on how
to restore our lives, not to just restore but to even
make it better than before. 

 Sometimes it is hard for us to see
that the mountains in our lives were actually keeping
us from being who we were created to be. 
There are times that the beauty of the mountain
keeps us from seeing the beauty of our Lord Jesus Christ. 
When the mountain shakes and falls we feel
our lives are hopeless.  The truth is sometimes the
mountain has to fall before we can see Christ.
The Lord doesn't want us to be content and
enjoy the high mountain experiences so much that
we fail to be who we really made to be. 

After your storm you may be able to walk on the
mountain tops and see Christ there, you may be able
to walk in the valley and see him there, and you may be
able to lie down in the green meadows and find
him there.  At this point in your life you will find
it really doesn't matter if you are on the mountains
high, in the valley low or resting in the luscious green
grass because no matter where your body is,
Christ becomes the main thing you see and when
he becomes your focus all the other things
in life become so small.

It's not always easy to get our focus where
it needs to be, but when we do the
peace of God will be with us no matter
the storm.  This is something even
Jesus Christ himself did.  He set his eyes
on His Father and this is what carried him
through the greatest storm in history.

Hebrews 12:2

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;
who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is set down at the
right hand of the throne of God.

PART V FINDING THE HEART OF GOD IN LIFE'S GREATEST STORMS

Photo provided by Jana Long

Taken by Mike Mezuel II

Some of you may say, "You sure are 

arrogant to say you have found the

Heart of God in your storm."  I must

say if that is what you have gotten 

out of this, then you might be 

focusing on the wrong thing.  For

you see this is not a story about 

me finding the Heart of God during

my past storms.  What I am writing, 

is me looking to find the Heart of God 

in all my storms, past, present and future. 

I pray I will always seek him in my

storms and will continue to 

seek the Heart of God from the great

storm I've already lived through.  

The one thing that I've learned over these

last twelve or thirteen years is that I

continue to learn and grow and therefore

I need to continue to seek the Heart

of God each and every day.  

There may be some of you who say, 

"Well you should have never gotten yourself

into that sort of storm to begin with."  I must 

whole heatedly agree with you!  Some have

already said, "Well you should have never left 

your husband."  That may also be the truth 

but the fact still remains, there were things

going on in my marriage that needed 

dealt with and I felt this was the only

way I could deal with it.  There were other

options but they would have been far more

devastating to others.  I can plainly see now,

that the option I chose was not a good one

either.  You see, my hindsight is far better

than my foresight.  

Some of you may say, 

"If you would have kept serving the Lord 

and doing right it would have never happened"  

I must say, I did make a lot of horrible 

decisions but the one thing I didn't do was 

to walk away from the Lord and I didn't go 

looking for another man.  I was content being 

single and living my life in the church and serving.  

I didn't turn to men out in the world and I 

didn't purposely set out to break up lives

and cause devastation.  

You see, there are times that 

people have made decisions in their 

lives that are still inside the church, they are 

still serving and lest you get to know them 

well, you will find out that you honestly 

don't know them at all.  

The person who locked in on my life 

was just that.  He served in 

the church and lived a life, as if he was a 

person who had lived a rough life in his earlier

years and then decided to follow the Lord.  

I found the cobra that was ta-toed on his arm

was not a past life but was there waiting ever so 

patient to find the right person at the right time,

in the right spot, to victimize.  I just happened to be

weak and vulnerable and his venom awaited that 

perfect time to strike.  

I don't believe all of our churches are

filled with people like this but I do believe when the 

scripture says that in the last days there will be 

wolves in sheep clothing, than we must be vigilant and

watching for just those people and yet not blaming 

every person who comes along of being a wolf. 

We all know there are truly people who

have been redeemed from a hard life-style and 

have truly turned from their own ways. 

Now I must say, "If you want to condemn me." I 

can probably give you enough ammunition to

do so but I have learned to walk in the grace 

of God's forgiveness instead of the 

condemnation that I could put upon 

myself for letting a person assist me when I 

needed help and then getting caught into what 

became a trap I couldn't escape.  For a period of 

a few months, I made some of the largest, 

stupidest mistakes in my life and I must say the storm 

was large for everyone who lived in and around me.  

For this I must reap the harvest of the pains

of lives that I shattered and people who

were hurt in the path of my destruction,

as I am sure there are more

than what I am aware of.   

The Texas Rangers felt there was no

possible way I would have avoided

the situation no matter how I tried

as he was determined that I was his

victim and I should be thankful I was

able to get loose.

To this I say that in the future, I hope

to be wiser  but also not live as every

man I cross paths with are sociopathic.

Recently the Lord laid this song 

upon my heart and when I wrote these words

I didn't have any idea that sharing my story is part 

of breaking the chains and setting me free, but

I truly believe it must be part of being set free as 

up until two weeks ago I would have never agreed 

to share this storm with others.  This was my 

secret, it was the part of my life I had damned up and 

quite frankly I was more than content leaving it that 

way.  I am guessing I shouldn't have written this 

song, for you see the Lord took me serious. 

As I started writing my story I realized that even

though my heart had found healing, I was 

still allowing the chains of keeping this to myself

bind me and hold me back from all the Lord 

wants to do in and through me. 

So with this, I leave the words to the song:

AWAKEN MY SOUL 

Awaken my soul, Awaken soul

Awaken my soul to live for thee

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul 

Awaken my soul to live for thee 

Holy Spirit fall on me

Let your presence rest on me 

Mold my life and help me live for you 

Holy Spirit fall on me 

Let my light shine bright for thee 

Holy spirit fall, fall on me 

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul 

Awaken my soul to live for thee 

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul

Awaken my soul to live for thee

Holy Spirit fall on me 

Break the chains and set me free

The chains of bondage that are so deep and strong 

Break them apart and set me free 

So that I might live for thee

Holy Spirit fall, fall on me 

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul 

Awaken my soul to live for thee 

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul 

Awaken my soul to live for thee 

Holy Spirit fall on me 

Cleans my heart and set me free 

Guide my feet as I walk each day 

Awake my soul to sing your praise

Lift my voice and not be afraid

Holy Spirit fall, fall on me 

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul 

Awaken my soul to live for thee

Awaken my soul, Awaken my soul 

Awaken my soul to live for thee