DIGGING DEEPER

Vicki awakens to the sound of the birds singing, coffee brewing and the smell of spring flowers blooming outside her bay window. She throws back the covers and decides to go for a stroll in her newly planted flower garden. Breathing in the brisk morning air and thinking how blessed she must be. As the morning passes she receives a phone call from an old friend who lives nearby.
“Vicki, this is JoAnn. I need to stop by and visit with you, is this a good time?”
Vicki replies that it couldn’t be a better time..

When JoAnn arrives she looks deep into Vicki’s excited blue eyes. Vicki realizes after just a moment that JoAnn has a very heavy heart. JoAnn expresses that she is concerned about something that she had seen yesterday while making a floral delivery at a nearby hotel.

“Vicki,” she says, “as I was about to round the corner at the hotel I saw John come out of one of the rooms with a young lady about 25 years old. I slipped back so that John couldn’t see me. As John walked by the doorway where I was standing I overheard his conversation. Vicki I don’t mean to hurt you this way, but John is very involved with this lady.”

A thousand thoughts raced through Vicki’s mind. Shock, fear, hurt, and sorrow began to overtake Vicki. She didn’t know where to run. “Why me! Why, Why Me! My life was so full, so abundant, so great. No, this can’t be true. I’ll wake up tomorrow and realize this was just a dream. We just built our new dream house. No John wouldn’t do this.”

Vicki confronts her husband. She finds out that JoAnn had been correct. She can’t believe this is really happening. Her shock, fear and hurt now turns to anger.

Growing up in a minister’s home and now being a pastor’s wife for 28 years, this is a story we hear often. Listed below are four different wells that we can dig. I hope after reading this, you will see the importance of choosing the fourth well.

WELL #1

“I’m going to hurt him as badly as he has hurt me. I’m going to find a guy strip bar and start going just to show him.”

WELL #2

“Jose Cuervo, you’re a friend of mine,” thinks Vicki, as she leaves the bar. Vicki drives home, stammers in the door to find her children fighting with each other. She throws her purse across the room and starts screaming at the children. She then suddenly decides she doesn’t want to be a mom any longer. She tells her children that she is going to give them up. They beg and plead with their mom. She screams at them, “you might as well grow up and realize that this stuff happens. Just get used to it. “

WELL #3

Vicki remembers when she was young how that she use to take drugs. Maybe if she could find Frank and get a fix it would help her cope with this, forgetting that it took thousands of dollars and months in a rehab to overcome her addiction. She calls Frank and asks him to meet her.

WELL #4 

“I just want to kill him. OH YES, I DO! As she begins to reflect on things, she decides to call her pastor.  Bro John, this is Vicki. "I know you have heard what has happened. I am really angry. I just want to kill John. I want to destroy his life, as he has destroyed mine.   He made a vow to me.  We loved each other.  He acted like he was happy.  I don't understand.  I feel like I could knock a house down, I'm so angry”

Pastor John sits and thinks. “Vicki, can you meet me at the church in 30 minutes."  Vicki drives to the church.  Pastor John gets out of his truck picks up a toolbox. As they walk into the building, Pastor John explains, you know being angry isn’t a sin. You have the right to be angry. It’s what you do with your anger that can become sin. You know we have needed to remodel this area of the building for a long time. He places the sledge hammer into Vicki’s hand and shows her a wall that needs knocked down. You can stay here as long as you need to. Vicki spends the day beating, pounding, slamming the hammer into the wall. She falls to the floor in exhaustion and begins to cry and pray. She ask the Lord to help her cope with this trauma. As time passes Vicki learns to have a closer walk with Jesus Christ.

When I came into Vicki’s life, my heart was filled with fear, hurt, and anger, Vicki showed me the place the wall use to be and showed me the newly built area.   She encouraged me rather than becoming “bitter,” I need to become “better.” Instead of destroying myself in Well number one, two, or three, she challenged me to dig deep and do something constructive instead of destructive during this time in my life.