FORGIVENESS OR ENABLING

     

     Today while shopping at Hobby Lobby I was intrigued by a conversation going on between two people standing behind me at the checkout counter.  

     I was very interested in this conversation because it was actually a topic I had been doing a small amount of research on.  Planning to dive deeper into this study someday, I had set it aside in order to work on more important things.  

     As they continued to talk I couldn't help but join into the conversation.  The woman about my age obviously has a daughter that is troubled and lives a life of theft.  The lifestyle she has chosen has not only cost the stores she takes from but it has also cost her family.  She has stolen money from her own mother and the question being asked was, 

     "How can you continue to buy her things and take care of her after she has done so many bad things?"  

     Just cut the strings and be done with her. 

    This mother's heart was broken as she explained to her niece that it was the love of a mother that never gives up on her child.

     The niece totally unsatisfied with that answer could only tell this mother how wrong she was and how she was going to be taken advantage of again and again because of what she called, mercy and love.  

     As I continued to listen, it was decided that I would complete my article on forgiveness and enabling.  I handed them my card that has the blog on it and asked them to read the blog once it was posted.  

What Mercy and Forgiveness is and is not

     Mercy and Forgiveness does not give you a free pass to hurt me again.  Therefore I love you and I will show mercy on you by being your mother/father and friend, but not allowing you to move back into my home.  Even though you think I am cruel and unforgiving you must understand that everything has consequences.  If holding you accountable, you experience pain, it wasn't me that induced the pain.  It was you.  

     Mercy and Forgiveness does give me a free pass to be healed.  Therefore I will show mercy and forgiveness to you so that I no longer harbor bad emotions inside of myself that are harmful.  

     Does this mean that it is wrong for someone to buy their daughter, son, husband, or parent an item that expresses love?  

     No, but be sure that in doing so you are not making a cushioned path for them to walk in order to fall into the same bad behavior that caused you grief and sorrow to begin with. 

     Many times, the person in the wrong will try to make you feel guilty when you are a person of love and compassion.  They do this in order to gain ground with you so they can have their fix, whatever it may be.  There are people out there looking for a fix of money, drugs, sex, pornography, or items to fulfill their emptiness.  

Your part is to make sure you are not enabling them to get those things.  

  You can continue to love that person and be nice to them but there has to be some firm nonnegotiable boundaries.  If you let the walls down, chances are you are going to be wounded by their addiction.  An important thing to remember in the midst of the whole event is you are not fighting with that person; you are fighting that person's addiction.  

     There may come a time that in order to continue a relationship of any kind with that person that you both find a counselor that can help the person with the addiction and also help you understand how far your boundaries need to be set without feeding their addiction.  

     If you are at the point that you are asking the question, 

     Is me showing mercy and forgiveness repeatedly enabling this person to continue in their addiction?  

     Then it's time you reached out a hand and told the person.  

     "Listen, I love you and want to show you mercy and forgiveness but together we must seek a counselor.  We need someone who can help me understand where the boundaries need to be set.  Secondly it needs to be someone who can help you understand where and when it 's time to stop crossing the boundaries."  

     This way you are both moving toward a healthier wiser relationship that will not only benefit yourself but will benefit your friends and family members also.  

HAPPY HEALING!

Be not deceived; God is not mocked:

 for whatsoever a man soweth, 

that shall he also reap.

For he that soweth to his flesh 

shall of the flesh reap corruption; 

but he that soweth to the Spirit 

shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

And let us not be weary in well doing:

for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

As we have therefore opportunity, 

let us do good unto all men, 

especially unto them who are 

of the household of faith.

Gal 6:7-10

 Be ye therefore followers of God, 
as dear children;
And walk in love, 
as Christ also hath loved us,
and hath given himself for us
 an offering and a sacrifice to God
 for a sweetsmelling savour. 
But fornication, and all 
uncleanness, or covetousness, 
let it not be once named among you, 
as becometh saints; 
Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, 
which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks
For this ye know, that no whoremonger, 
nor unclean person, nor covetous man, 
who is an idolater, 
hath any inheritance in the kingdom 
of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you 
with vain words: for because of these things cometh
 the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 
Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
For ye were sometimes darkness, 
but now are ye light in the Lord: 
walk as children of light: 
(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness
 and righteousness and truth;) 
Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord, 
And have no fellowship with the 
unfruitful works of darkness, 
but rather reprove them. For it is a shame 
even to speak of those things which are 
done of them in secret. 
But all things that are reproved 
are made manifest by the light: 
for whatsoever doth make 
manifest is light. 
Wherefore he saith, Awake thou 
that sleepest, and arise from the dead, 
and Christ shall give thee light.
 See then that ye walk circumspectly, 
not as fools, but as wise, 
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 
Wherefore be ye not unwise, 
but understanding what the will of the Lord is
Ephesians 5:1-17

     

WHO IS TRULY HANDICAPPED

Strolling down the aisles of the grocery store today I was overwhelmed.  My eye caught a glimpse of a young girl about 17 years of age.  She had apparently been born with a handicap.  As she walked she reminded me of the robots they had on the movies back in the 70's.   Instantly my heart was overwhelmed with concern for this young lady.

I continued to shop but couldn't help but notice that she was filled with exuberant joy.   Right then I realized she wasn't the one with the handicap.  It was all of us walking past her with such a gloomy attitude that truly had the handicap.  This young lady had accepted her life the way it was and in the midst of all the pain she had learned to laugh and smile.  She brightened my day far more than I did hers.

This young lady will never remember my face or anything about me after the moment she walked past me. As for me, I will always remember the beautiful smile and kindness that radiated from her.   Our joy should be twice the amount she had, yet we allow the smallest things to take our joy away.

Don't allow those things to handicap your life.  Find joy in everything that you do and give God the glory and praise even in your deepest trials.  You will find peace and contentment in accepting his plan for your life.

But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: 

let them ever shout for joy, 

because thou defendest them: let them also 

that love thy name be joyful in thee.

For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; 

with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.

Psalm 5:11-12

SYMPHONY OF LOVE AND GRACE

Photo by Harold Kinnel

Created by Sherry Long

     Have you ever known a professional pianist, swimmer, skater or vocalist?  The one thing I have noticed about anyone that is considered a professional is the extreme level of work that goes into their talent.  I have never known an olympist that sat on the sofa reading a magazine and never practicing.  There are long hours of training, diet and exercise that goes into their lives in order to produce perfection.

     However, I have noticed many people wondering why God hasn't come through for them.  After all, they say,

     "If I am God's child shouldn't he give me what I need?"

     I'm afraid even the best of many religious leaders have a distorted view of who God really is.  We want to have the perfect tempo and vibrato but we don't want to go through the extensive exercises to achieve that perfection.

     Many times in our lives the Lord knows, in order to get the harmony revealed in our lives, he must allow us to be broken.

     During this process, he kneels down and touches your life and redeems the pieces that are worthwhile and sweeps away all the pieces that were holding you back from what he intended for your life.

As we kick, scream and complain, he patiently waits for us to be molded and shaped into an instrument for His glory.

     Many people pick up the broken pieces the Lord has left behind and insist on them being inserted back into their lives.  In doing this we cause the perfect plan God has for our lives to be distorted.

     When you go through major trials, does this mean that the Heavenly Father doesn't love you?  No, it just means that he is willing to allow you to go through extreme training and exercise tips to produce in and through you:

"The Perfect Song."

Lord as you shape me, help me see

Your hand is building a perfect me.
When all the verses are filled with pain
Break forth in me a glorious refrain.

It's through the pains, these strings are tuned

My heart is changed, my life renewed.
May I embrace them instead of resist
So you can produce your melodious gift.  

Help me to release these strings to you,

So the melody and harmony comes forth anew.  

Let them flow like a symphony of love and grace
Transcending from me a song praise.
By Sherry Long

(Dedicated to Barbara Cullum Masters)

LET YOUR LITTLE LIGHT SHINE

The LORD shall go forth as a mighty man, 

he shall stir up jealousy like a man of war:

he shall cry, yea, roar; 

he shall prevail against his enemies.

I have long time holden my peace; 

I have been still, and refrained myself:

now will I cry like a travailing woman; 

I will destroy and devour at once.

I will make waste mountains and hills, 

and dry up all their herbs; 

and I will make the rivers islands, 

and I will dry up the pools.

And I will bring the blind by a way 

that they knew not; 

I will lead them in paths 

that they have not known: 

I will make darkness light before them, 

and crooked things straight. 

These things will I do unto them, 

and not forsake them.

They shall be turned back, 

they shall be greatly ashamed, 

that trust in graven images, 

that say to the molten images, 

Ye are our gods.

Hear, ye deaf; 

and look, ye blind, 

that ye may see.

Who is blind, but my servant? 

or deaf, as my messenger that I sent? 

who is blind as he that is perfect, 

and blind as the LORD’S servant?

Seeing many things, 

but thou observest not; 

opening the ears, but he heareth not.

The LORD is well pleased 

for his righteousness’ sake; 

he will magnify the law, 

and make it honourable.

Isaiah 42:16-21

HOLDING ON TO JESUS

Let us therefore come boldly 

unto the throne of grace, 

that we may obtain mercy, 

and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

HIS GRACE RUNS DEEP

Photo by Jana Long
Created by Sherry Long

 

 

And he said unto me,

My grace is sufficient for thee:

for my strength

is made perfect in weakness.

Most gladly therefore will I

rather glory in my infirmities,

 that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities,

in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions,

in distresses for Christ’s sake:

for when I am weak, then am I strong.

II Corinthians 12:9-10



MY LIFE IS LIKE A GARDEN

My life being like a garden helps me to realize it is important what I select to plant in that garden.  To many times we don't see our lives as being like a garden and therefore we don't make plans for the harvest.  We are not prepared for the roots of deception to choke out the radiant blooms that are starting to develop.

There have been times in my life that I planted a few seeds that had I taken some careful time planning, I would have undoubtedly thrown out.

These are the times where we pray for crop failure.  Although most of the time we end up having to eat from that crop, leaving us saddened that we didn't take the time to prepare better.

How do you view your life?  Have you taken to time to prepare the soil and plant the right seeds.  Seeds that not only you enjoy eating from but you also can share with other relatives and friends?  Are you taking the time to cultivate the soil, remove the weeds, and properly water the seeds you planted?  In order to get a good harvest these things must be done.

At the end of the day can you sit down on the porch and look across the fields you've planted and enjoy what you see, or when you look out across the field do you see weeds taking over your beautiful garden?

Those weeds will choke out the good seeds if you don't take the time to do some weed pulling.  The weeds in our lives not only have a bad effect on our crops but they tend to spread to the crops closely planted to our lives.

And it shall come to pass, 

if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice 

of the LORD thy God, 

to observe and to do all his commandments which 

I command thee this day,

that the LORD thy God will set thee on high 

above all nations of the earth:

And all these blessings shall come on thee, 

and overtake thee, 

if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God.

Blessed shalt thou be in the city, 

and blessed shalt thou be in the field.

Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, 

and the fruit of thy ground, 

and the fruit of thy cattle, 

the increase of thy kine, 

and the flocks of thy sheep.

Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store.

Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, 

and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out.

Deuteronomy 28:1-6

NEVER GIVING UP ON HIS CHILDREN

 

Photo provided by Harold Kinnel

Created by Sherry Long 

 

O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising,

thou understandest my thought afar off.

Thou compassest my path and my lying down,

and art acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word in my tongue,

but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
Thou hast beset me behind and before,

and laid thine hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
Whither shall I go from thy spirit?

or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there:

if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
If I take the wings of the morning,

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
Even there shall thy hand lead me,

and thy right hand shall hold me.
If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me;

even the night shall be light about me.
Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee;

but the night shineth as the day:

the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
For thou hast possessed my reins:
thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise thee;
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvellous are thy works;
and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 138:1-14